Unsolicited

Last week at church I was navigating a roomful of children, trying to pick up my boys from sunday school but getting stopped every few feet by infant admirers. One woman blurted, "Oh! You were sitting behind me in church! I noticed she has a snuffly nose; squirt breast milk in her nostrils and that will clear that right up!"

This was odd. I mean, I don't know this lady from Adam and she wants me to drown my baby? I knew what she meant; any infection can be helped by the live cells in breastmilk, but...well...I'm pretty well versed on breastmilk and all its properties, I'm pretty confident in my ability to care for my newbies, and I didn't ask for her advice regarding Amarys' snuffles. I found out later she's a lactation consultant. Great! Good to have resources around church. But hello? How about; I noticed you were nursing in public, way to go! Or your baby is beautiful you're doing a wonderful job! Or simply congratulations! But no. Your baby is sick and you obviously don't know what you are doing so I will give you unsolicited advice you breast milk retard.

[or that's what I heard]

*AWKWARD!*

Lesson 1 in how to make yourself unpopular amongst mothers: Unsolicited Advice.

My smile got kind of frozen looking as I tried to figure out how to respond. Eventually I walked away. Because who knows what to say in the face of social blunders of the obnoxiously superior than thou variety?

Cinco de Mommy has a good word for situations like these: Asshat.

Asshat.