Tuesday, July 29, 2008

We are part God and part dust, all mixed together in trepidation and in love


-my friend tamie

37 weeks


Week Thirty-Seven
This week, the average size is about 6.3 pounds (2859gm) now and 19.1 inches (48.6cm) length.
She is official full term now but can still benefit from extra days in the womb.
Your baby continues to practice breathing movements. Isn't it amazing how she can breathe "under water?"
Grasp is firm now. It won't be long until you'll feel that strong little fist confidently grasping your finger (or tightly clenching your hair)!
A few weeks ago, your baby would move her eyes toward light. Now she turns towards light outside the uterus.
" As the uterine wall stretches and thins allowing more light to permeate, he develops definite daily activity cycles. You will want to be sure to establish good patterns yourself at this time, thus encouraging them in your child. Ever heard of a baby getting his days/nights mixed up? Now's the time to try to avoid that!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Me like wu

A few weeks ago Brent was teasing Matthew with, "Who do you like better, mommy or daddy? You like daddy best, right? C'mon, you like daddy, right?"

Ohhh, that man likes to play with fire.

I was there, but I didn't say anything.
Matthew looked serious for a long moment, and then he answered,
"No, daddy, me wike BOh mommy daddy!" in a tone which implied that, really, this was common knowledge and Brent should know.

I smiled and looked back at the table. Matthew went on with what he was doing.
Victory.
Small, almost unnoticed, and certainly unremarked. But mine.
Not over Brent, but over my guilt demons. Over my relentless fear that our rocky transition after Matthew's adoption two and a half years ago had permanently damaged the relationship between Matthew and myself beyond repair.

My world then was largely characterized by guilt, fear, anxiety, anger, and deep sadness.
I've learned a few things;
I'm not a perfect parent.
That's okay.
Guilt is destructive.
Guilt is created by the things I tell myself about myself, and I can control that internal monologue and turn it away from guilt.
I fear loss of control over my life and my children.
This fear is common, but based on the untrue assumption that 'control' is something valuable AND attainable.
Self control is the key to effective parenting.
Calm thoughts create a calm inner landscape, which makes self control possible.
Love is not simply a feeling.
I MUST love myself. This is not optional.
Leaving is not an option. (I wanted it to be)
When I'm angry with my kids, it's generally because I'm angry with a shortcoming in myself. It's always because I'm focused on what I don't want, rather than on what I want (ie, I want you to stop hitting your brother!! rather than, I want you to be gentle and respect your brother!!)
Life is painful sometimes.
Kids are able to weather parental storms.
Help is hard to find.
Friends are invaluable, priceless, precious, and imperative.
My mom is a good source of strength.
I have frightening, dark spots in my soul.
We all do.
I am courageous.
I am hopeful.
I am good.
It is possible to experience joy in parenting Matthew.

Today I was overwhelmed by a deep sense of gratitude for how rich my life is, how blessed I am by these three boys, and by how much I love them.
They fart and burp and have pointy elbows and cry really loudly when hurt or unjustly treated, and they wear me down and push my buttons. But the also kiss me and hug me and hold my hand, and their eyes are sparkly (I take tons of credit for that sparkle; it makes me feel good) and they have hilarious ideas (mommy, when me and Matthew grow up we're going to have a farm and live in a house together and when it's time for us to get married there will be FOUR of us in the house until we have one hundred and one babies and then the house will be fery full!) and they try new things, and they hug my baby bump and kiss it and tell it stories and lie on top of it and elbow it unknowingly and try to lift it up, and they race each other to finish their milk and their toast and even their poops.
They sparkle, people. Their potential is vast, untried, boundless. Their imaginations spin.
How MUCH I am blessed!
And all the more blessed because I have walked through a dark valley, for I know how bright the light is now, having known the darkness.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Thanks guys

Thank you for praying! And for those who sent me get well wishes!! The antibiotics kicked in around noon today, and my pain is MUCH BETTER (still at 1 or 2 out of 10, but so much better than it was!) so I'm able to function at more than absolute basic survival and no longer need to take the narcotics.
I still can't hear out of that ear, so that will take some time to heal.
I should go sleep, but I wanted to update you.
Thanks for the love!

Friday, July 25, 2008

OWOWOW

ok, now i'm stoned on codeine but the pain relieving aspect of the T#3 has stopped working. My husband is at work. I feel like puking and now I've got vertigo so bad I am afraid of falling down. Luckily Matthew went to sleep without a story, without protest. Ayden is currently watching a movie with the understanding that it is in lieu of a story...we'll see if that suffices. He hates his bedtime routine being changed AT ALL.
Dudes, pray harder. I want to smash my head against the wall right now!

I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ear

I went to see my regular doctor's business partner today, as my dr is on holidays. He looked in my ear and said "Woah! That's the worst ear infection I've ever seen! Definitely infected, but not ruptured."
Awesome.
He gave me an 8 day run of amoxycillin (antibiotic), and for pain control, some Tylenol #3s (tylenol mixed with a narcotic).
I freaked out! A narcotic? I'm pregnant!
I called my midwife. Based on the amount of tylenol and ibuprofin I had to take last night to keep the pain under control (9000 mgs tylenol and 900 mgs ibuprofin over 13.5 hours...def. an overdose), she figures I'm better off taking the narcotic. So, I am.

No wonder I feel under the weather. Still hurts like hell, and my ear is ringing, and I can't really hear out of that side...but the pain is manageable with the T#3 (which I'm interspersing with ibuprofin in order to reduce the amount I have to take overall, and improve the T#3 effectiveness).
Keep praying!
xo
thanks guys.

Quick update

Well, my ear started to hurt at about 8 pm last night. I battled it with tylenol until 11:00 when I gave in and took some Ibuprofin, which, combined with more tylenol, finally did the trick after 45 minutes. I was literally crying out loud it hurt so much! This morning as soon as my dr's office opened I called and they squeezed me in, so I'm on my way. I'm still drugged to a ridiculous level. Ridiculous.
But really, the pain is 10/10 when left alone and I can't think of anything except getting it down to a manageable level.
Keep praying, friends!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Ouch

First off, saw midwife again today!
I'm 36 weeks, plus 4 days pregnant
lost one pound:
total wt gain 28 lbs
Bp 104/68
Fundal ht 38 cm
Fetal heart rate 142
Group B Strep positive (big bummer)
Baby positioned head down, in anterior position off to my left side


I need some big prayers today. I have had a minor ear infection for 16 days...until this evening it was annoying, but not painful and I had no fever. Now it is excrutiatingly painful so that I can hardly talk, burping, hiccuping, crying, etc is even MORE painful, and I cannot think.
I would like to bite my tongue off to distract myself, that is how bad it hurts! I've taken some tylenol but I can't take anything stronger until after CB comes out. I was avoiding antibiotics (a) for CB's sake, and (b) because they can cause yeast infections.
I'M DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No I'm not, it just feels like it! Please pray for my ear! It's such a silly thing to pray for, I know. But dang does it hurt.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Somebody tell me who took my dad?

Okay, let me tell you about my dad as I know him. Here are a few characteristics that describe him:
-bush man
-tough
-farmer
-practical
-pragmatic
-hunter
-camper
-entrepreneur
-tenacious
-hard worker
-industrious
-courageous
-peremptory

I have seen him slaughter animals, including sheep, deer, moose, pheasant, grouse, and even a bear without blinking an eye. All our lives we have had animals, but each had a job. Cats catch mice. They do not live in the house. Dogs protect property. They do not live in the house. Horses pack loads and carry humans. Mules do likewise. Chickens make eggs. Cows generate income. Wild game is good food. Some dogs track wild game. They still do not live in the house. Pampered dogs are useless, brainless, wasters of good oxygenated air. And the butt of many jokes. Any human who picks up dog poop, pays for dog surgery, or needlessly carries his dog is an incomprehensible species and good only for laughs.

PEOPLE. LOOK AT MY DAD. THIS IS HIS NEW PUPPY.



I repeat: somebody tell me who took my dad and replaced him with this kook?

The trouble with pants

The difficulty for me, with pants, is that my midsection is the shape of an egg. Have you ever tried to put pants on an egg? Nothing stays up. I like to call my belly, affectionately, 'the medicine ball,' and it is now so large that none of my shirts entirely cover it. People are just going to have to get used to seeing the bottom strip of my egg/medicine ball/belly (just so long as I don't spring any short and curlies above the rolled down elastic waist of my pants!)

I'm in the home stretch!
And I want to add that although I complain for laughs or for real on here, 90% of this pregnancy has been wonderful, and I'm very very happy about it. The nausea sucked, and lasted longer than anticipated. The heat sucks. But everything else has truly been good. I know I complain, but I wanted to share that there is another side to all this too, that I don't always mention because it's not as funny nor as compelling to write about! I had hoped to enjoy being pregnant this time and I have!

I'm getting better, with the fear of labour and my fear of parenting three. I have a game plan: relax and do only what I can do. If I can't wash a load of dishes or somebody's underwear before it's time to leave for school, we'll deal with dirty. If CB doesn't sleep at night, we'll have naps. If I need a break, I'll sign Matthew up for an activity, or send him to a friend's house AND THAT IS OKAY! (I feel guilty about needing time apart from him, but I'm getting realistic about this). One day at a time, one hour at a time, and try to enjoy as many minutes as I can. Dude, they really do grow up fast. It was only a few minutes ago that Ayden was born, wasn't it? That five years went by in a heartbeat. Another five and he'll be TEN! Somebody tell me the magic formula to STOP TIME!?!

Boys will be home from grandma camp tomorrow night. I miss them, but DAMN if this past four days hasn't been relaxing! Just what I needed!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

36 weeks


Week Thirty-Six

Your baby is almost ready and most likely, so are you! The only organ still to mature is the lungs. While certainly you are both growing anxious to meet, remember that each day (up to 42 weeks), that your little one stays within your womb will multiply his chances to breathe on his own.
If he hasn't already, this week your baby may drop into the birth canal. While breathing for mom becomes easier, walking may be the exact opposite! If he's not your first baby, this "lightening" may not occur until right before labor.
Fat is dimpling your baby's elbows and knees, and forming creases in the neck and wrists.
His skin is growing smooth and, shall we say it, "baby" soft.
His gums are very rigid. It won't be many months before you'll see his teeth.
She has a fully developed pair of kidneys and her liver has begun processing some waste products.
Your child's average size is now 18.66 inches (47.4cm) and 5.78 pounds (2622 g). Between now and birth she will gain about an ounce a day!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Jet

by Tony Hoagland



Sometimes I wish I were still out

on the back porch, drinking jet fuel

with the boys, getting louder and louder

as the empty cans drop out of our paws

like booster rockets falling back to Earth



and we soar up into the summer stars.

Summer. The big sky river rushes overhead,

bearing asteroids and mist, blind fish

and old space suits with skeletons inside.

On Earth, men celebrate their hairiness,



and it is good, a way of letting life

out of the box, uncapping the bottle

to let the effervescence gush

through the narrow, usually constricted neck.



And now the crickets plug in their appliances

in unison, and then the fireflies flash

dots and dashes in the grass, like punctuation

for the labyrinthine, untrue tales of sex

someone is telling in the dark, though



no one really hears. We gaze into the night

as if remembering the bright unbroken planet

we once came from,

to which we will never

be permitted to return.

We are amazed how hurt we are.

We would give anything for what we have.

Sweet Escape

Wow. My kids left yesterday morning with their grandparents for five days away at 'grandparent camp.' Since then, I've slept and slept and slept! And read some. I didn't realize how TIRED I was! I had a three hour nap yesterday afternoon, slept eight hours last night, and had another 2 hour nap this morning! That's thirteen out of the last 24 hours I've spent asleep!! Holy crap!

Now I'm going to tackle some of the mess in my house. SOME, mind you, not all. We don't want to be too ambitious.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Pablo Neruda

Hide me in your arms
just for the night,
while the rain breaks
against sea and earth
its innumerable mouth

-"Wind on the Island"

Pica pronounciation

Breanne asked how one pronounces Pica, so I looked it up at dictionary.com where you can click on an example of pronounciation, and it said Pica is "Pie-ka." So now we know!

The boys are gone to my parents' place for four days. Bliss! I don't know what to do with myself...
this morning B and I went out for breakfast!! So nice. I had my fave: eggs benedict with fruit salad and tea. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm fooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Today's Pix

Okay, Ayden helped me by taking this photo of me this morning when I changed the garbage, so you could all laugh at my Pica:



The boys have access to their dressup clothes again (they've been in storage since December, when I replaced the carpets) and have managed hours of entertainment. Here is a pic of Ayden the clown (his clown nose is from Cirque du Soleil, which I took him to see last weekend and which I've yet to post about...let's just say AWESOMEAWESOMEAWESOME!):


And the two of them; Count Dracula the Clown ready to operate your mitre saw, and his pet caterpillar:


After dressup, we went out and bought some of these:

DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

In very short order, this:


Because of these:



Became this:


and soon this:



Good times had by all.

I saw my midwife this morning:
Pregnant 35 wks, +4 days.
Fetal heart rate, 140.
Fundal height, 37 cm.
Total wt gain, 28 lbs (ack).
Bp 110/70.
Swabbed for group B strep status.
Discussed: Vitamin K administration to newborn (I was contemplating refusing this but my midwife informed me that there is an oral Vit. K that can be used as well, so I will go for that option instead of an injection), PKU test (also can be done by midwife when baby is 24 to 48 hours old), and antibiotic eye drops (which I'm still thinking about refusing, even given the option to wait for an hour or so after birth, b/c they interfere with newborn vision for a few hours after administration. Plus, I know I don't have gonorrhea/chlamydia, which is what they are for. Unless Brent's been messing around on me with a germy girlfriend that I don't know about, and I have a totally symptomless infection I don't know about!! Unlikely!!! Haha!). Also discussed the treatment of GBS if swab comes back positive (conventional treatment includes IV antibiotics x 2 doses). I don't want to labour with a saline lock in my hand so I'll opt for 2 pokes rather than one (I'm refusing the required routine IV saline lock for all hospital VBACs too...and continuous fetal monitoring during labour, also required routine procedure for VBACs--aren't I the high maintenance patient???)
:-D
I've done my homework, and I know what I want/don't want based on risk/benefit ratio.

Now, Mr. Cute Butt. A few more weeks, and then you make an entrance, nice and gentle, no complications. Okay? Looking forward to seeing you!

Calcium/Iron Issue Solved

I think I've come up with a workable solution for my dilemma of needing both iron and calcium/magnesium supplements but not being able to take them together! Instead of three Calcium pills three times a day for a total of nine, I've begun taking 4 at lunch and 5 at bedtime AND REMEMBERING!!
I figure I'll try and work around the milk products in my breakfast/suppers...at least some yogurt is less calcium than yogurt plus 450 mgs calcium supplement. I can reduce a bit without eliminating altogether.
Good solution.
This way I don't forget to take the calcium, and I get the iron separately.
In case anyone cares!! :-)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Showers of love for Baby Coconut

The reason I've not posted much in a few days is because I went to Victoria for a SURPRISE shower for my cousin Sara, pregnant with 'Coconut,' her baby #2. Our organizer, Kelsey, had set it up as a surprise and so I was stealth...I didn't mention it on my blog or on the phone or in an email (taking lots of effort on my part!!), I arranged to stay with my sister, and I went to Victoria and arrived early to help set up for the shower only to be told that SARA KNOWS!!!
Ack.
Surprises are hard to pull over on Sara.
Anyways, we had a blast!
I volunteered to make the cake, and used Asheya's recipe for Cranberry Lemon Cake with Cranberry Lemon Mousse for icing.
My first attempt began at 9 p.m. (no room for mistakes), because my sister came home from work at 8 and I couldn't figure our her stove/oven on my own before she arrived. She suggested making the cake at her boyfriend's house, which is larger (Meg lives in a studio apt built in the 1920s or even before; the stove/oven is gas and TINY), so we lugged all the supplies over there. The problem was that my cake tins were too large and the batter recipe too small, so I wound up with two cranberry lemon pancakes of epic proportions! Here's a comparison of the pancake with the later, successful cake layer:



Not sure if you can really see how minimalist this first cake really was! A few millimetres at best.
So, at 10:00 I decided I needed to re-bake the cake, but we had not had supper yet so we went out for dinner first. And go to Safeway for more cake supplies, as I had premeasured my ingredients and brought them from home.
At midnight we tackled our second attempt at the cake, and Meg helped me grate lemon zest, etc, and (After adding another 20 minutes of cooking time) we had two gorgeous, fat, aromatic layers of cranberry lemon cake. We went home to Meg's place and fell into bed. In the morning I decided to add one of the flat layers to the top of the cake, making three layers (the other flat layer had been half devoured by myself and my sister the night before). I had half an hour to put together the components of this cake, and I totally pulled it off! LOOK AT THIS CAKE, PEOPLE!!!!! I am no chef, and I'm certainly no baker, but LOOK at what I DID! I'm seriously proud of myself:





We had an awesome time at the shower itself; the food was wonderful, the sun hot, the kids absent, the company amazing, and the games fun. There was enthusiasm all around for my cake (which, by the way, is whole wheat flour and not too much sugar, with whipping cream mousse instead of sugary icing...fairly healthy for a cake, I say!). Here are some pix:

FOOD...a preggers lady's best friend


Gifts


Sara's #1 baby, Kaleb, with the gift we bought for him (sidewalk chalk)...he stopped by to say hi just at the beginning of the party (that's his dad, Sara's husband Leigh, behind him)


Beautiful Sara


Sara with my sister Megan


We played this awesome baby shower game where you pair up and each person is blindfolded, and one feeds the other applesauce. It was so funny that I cried watching Vanessa and Laura play (Vanessa's directive before playing was "We're not going to win (winner is fastest). The goal here is accuracy, NOT speed!") and they lost. It took them over 3 minutes to get thru a thing of applesauce!


And I laughed so hard playing myself that I almost peed my pants (thank heaven for keigel exercises! 100 a day!). I fed Meg. We won. There was applesauce EVERYWHERE but we're quite competitive so we kicked ASS!



Sara's team came in second. I won a jar of pickles. Meg got tums.


We also played a 'guess what kind of mother you are' game; I was Mother Mary, Sara Mother Superior, Laura Mother of Pearl, etc.


Kelsey, our hostess


Gift opening



The babies meet (they are 10 weeks apart)


The cake...I know the shower was NOT about my cake, but we just can't get enough images of my baking accomplishment here folks



And, when I got home yesterday Count Dracula and a pumpkin collared firefighter were playing football in my yard. Too cute;

Monday, July 14, 2008

Pica

Okay, my faithful friends, we've come up with the name for that "weird thing" where I want to eat my garbage bags!! Thanks to Asheya and Jen for the name, and Jen for the medical definition:

Here's the definition from Taber's Medical Dictionary:
pica = An eating disorder manifested by a craving to ingest any material not normally considered as food, including starch, clay, ashes, toy balloons, crayons, cotton, grass, cigarette butts, soap, twigs, wood, paper, metal, or plaster. This condition is seen in pregnancy, chlorosis, hysteria, helminthiasis, and certain psychoses. It may also be associated with iron-deficiency anemia. The importance of this condition, the etiology of which is unknown, stems from the toxicity of ingested material (e.g. paint that contains lead) or from ingesting materials in place of essential nutrients. The inclusion of compulsive ingestion of non-food and food items such as licorice, croutons, chewing gum, coffee grounds, or oyster shells as examples of pica is controversial.

I wonder if this can be considered an eating disorder if I don't actually eat the garbage bag??
Anyways; yes, I have low iron stores (13 on a 'normal' scale between 15 and 210) although good hemoglobin levels. I've been taking the floradix liquid iron supplement for a month and a half now, 10 mL twice a day, with food (and with a source of vitamin C). Here's my main dilemma with iron supplement:
In order to maximize absorption, one needs to take the iron supplement separate from calcium.
I eat milk products or calcium for every meal, snack, and etc. Cream cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, rice milk, almonds, butter, or milk. I LOVE them and I can't get enough...I use cheese as a protein source frequently through the day to help me manage my blood sugar, and when I do eat meat protein it's generally egg, or in a sandwich with cheese, or at supper which will also have some kind of cheese, and at which I usually drink rice milk.
I'm also low in calcium and magnesium so I have to take a supplement for that too--three pills three times a day!!
So, I think that although I'm taking this awesome iron supplement I'm not maximizing its absorption because I'm taking it with calcium 95% of the time.
What do I do?
I need to eat the calcium sources too, since I'm low in calcium.
I need to eat the calcium supplements.
I need to manage my blood sugar.
AND I need more iron.

I've tried taking the calcium supplements separately from meals but that results in my not taking them at all, because my meals are my memory trigger for all my pharmacy of vitamins and probiotics. Plus, it doesn't solve the problem because I'm still eating a lot of milk/calcium rich foods at all my meals, when I have to take my iron because taking it on an empty stomach makes me throw up.

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
I can also only stomach so much meat.
And the iron makes me constipated, even though the floradix doesn't usually do this to people.
I'm a freak.
But I'm willing to try any suggestions you might have.
And we now know the name of this phenomenon!!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Today's events

Matthew is also known as a spider. He climbs EVERYTHING. Generally our approach to climbing is this: if you are able to climb it, you can, unless it's near an upstairs window.
However, we may need to add to this some guidelines regarding the backyard fence:






35 weeks




Week Thirty-Five
The average baby weighs almost five and a half pounds now.
Most babies born now will survive and without many long-term problems.
Fat accumulations plumps up the arms and legs this week. These layers of fat will help him regulate his body temperature. They also provide those cute little dimples on elbows and knees!
Her hearing is fully developed, so be sure to talk to your daughter. Do you find yourself speaking in a high-pitched tone? That's okay since some studies show babies respond better to higher pitches.
It's getting crowded! Your baby is now taking up most of the uterus and you may even feel like your chest has run out of room! Soon enough though, baby will move down and you'll be able to breathe easily again (just not walk so easily! Ha!).
Your baby is 18.2 inches (46.2cm) long and weighs 5.3 pounds (2383gm).
The testes have completed their descent in males.

This weird thing

Some pregnant women experience this weird thing where they want to eat non food items. I've heard of women wanting to eat coal, toilet paper, perfume, or their husband's skin (which has all sorts of psychological ramifications). Last time I was pregnant, I wanted to eat the laundry soap. Brent would come in the laundry room and find me with my head in the box of soap, smelling it. Mmmmmmmmmmm, delicious! It was so tempting to stick out my tongue and take just a few crystals and eat them, but for obvious reasons I didn't. I met a woman once who loved the smell of toilet paper when she was pregnant, and wanted to eat it--and so she did take a bite! She said it tasted aweful. But the funny thing is, a few days later she tried it again!!!
Anyone know what this phenomenon is called?
This time, for me, it is our kitchen garbage bags. They have some sort of deoderizer on them, and every time I change the garbage I stick my head INSIDE the new bag so I can smell it and smell it and smell it! I have not actually licked it yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did, one of these days. Knowing it is a GARBAGE bag might be the only thing that keeps me from doing it.
We don't use the same type of laundry soap anymore, but I suspect the garbage bags are made with the same scent, because it reminds me of the old laundry crystals.
Don't throw me in the loony bin just yet--this is a documented phenomenon that happens to lots of pregnant women! But not all.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

sytycd update

So you think you can dance??

Katee and Joshua (my favourite couple) did two dances; first, a Viennese Walz to the Goo Goo Dolls which was gorgeous but softly criticized by the judges for lack of ballroom technique . Second, a freaking BOLLYWOOD DANCE ROUTINE!!!!!!!!!! Who doesn't love Bollywood these days? It was FANTASTIC and the dancers brought the perfect combination of chemistry, energy, personality interpretation, and strength of technique (dude? Who has strength of technique in a dance style they've never danced before??)--it was very beautiful and very popular. They are safe, naturally.
The thing that I find interesting about Katee is that offstage she is very quiet. Reserved. Difficult to read. Almost cold.
Onstage, she is a different person to a degree that I've not seen before! She's brilliant, radiant, warm, emotionally complex, deep, self assured, and has stage presence like Margot Fontaine. The transformation is nothing short of fascinating.

Jessica and Will first danced the most beautiful piece, a contemporary piece about love, with not a moment of cheesy, stock character, or stereotype. It was my second favourite dance EVER on this show (my first fave made me cry; the Hummingbird and the Flower from last season)--gave me goose bumps. I gaped. I held my breath the whole piece. Ohhhh, beautiful.
Their second piece was a foxtrot (the famous killer style...everyone who dances it gets poor votes), which DID kill them...they wound up in the bottom three (almost wonderful because then we get to see them dance a solo in their preferred style, which makes for an excellent show). The foxtrot was no good, but they danced their hearts out and I gave them a freebie because their first dance was so magical.

These were the folks in the bottom three;

Komfort, thayne
Jessica, Will
Kerrington, Twitch

Yup, I love this show. Dance, dance dance, dance!!!!

My favourite male dancer this season (Joshua) is Canadian. He's from Montreal! Go Canada!! It's happenstance that I like him best, not patriotism. I only found out he is Cdn yesterday, and I liked him best before.

All around, I still think last year was better.
Yikes!

A word about the MEN on this show: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW...anyone who thinks dance is for girls/gay guys/sissies, hasn't watched real men dance real dance. Dude. ALL of them have more flexibility than I had at the top of my game, and of course they are stronger. RIPPED. Masculine. Even when doing ballet moves.

Pix

I adore this picture



Aren't my lilies amazing?




Brent and Ayden work in the garden...Ayden LOVES his garden...I wonder, will he be a farmer? Chef? Food critic? Own a nursery? Or be a rock star who has a garden in his backyard?



Matthew's in on the action too



My pedicure





Matthew's carrot garden (which he ignores)



My roses



I found this idea on another blog where you take pix in a theme all week and then post your ten to twelve faves. My theme this week is 'white.' Which is actually incredibly difficult! I'll show you the best ones on the weekend.

Smoking and shorcuts

This is Ayden's take on 'smokers' which is his word for cigarettes:

"But if they are unHEALTHY, why don't the stores stop SELLING them? Then nobody would have any SMOKERS!?"

I dunno, baby. I dunno. Here's another unanswerable one;

"If it's unhealthy, why do people smoke?"

I explained about addiction, but he still wanted to know why anyone would ever do it in the first place if they knew it was unhealthy. It is so logical to him that if something is unhealthy, you don't do it (although we still had an argument that afternoon about him wanting to watch more than one movie, which is our limit...our line for t.v./movies is that "t.v. is like junk food for your brain. Nice to have once in awhile, but unhealthy if you have too much of it"...yesterday, he pushed against this rule and its reason...in fact, he just came into the kitchen and pushed it again, so the "If it's unhealthy why do people do it?" question could be answered with this example!).


I've become big enough, tired enough, and short of breath enough to need to take some shortcuts around the house. Here are a few shortcuts I've been taking:
-not doing laundry until someone runs out of underwear, then doing just enough to wash the underwear
-taking the boys to the water park simply so that they will be entertained and I can lie down in the shade
-watching t.v.---yesterday afternoon I watched the last half of Dr. Phil and the first half of Oprah!!! I never do this (well, I have in the past but I don't have time or the inclination much anymore)!!! I just needed to lie down, and it happened to be 3:30 and I happened to think of Dr. Phil. Ayden did point out to me that t.v. is like junk food for MY brain, thank you oh wise one!
-leaving the kitchen dishes for my husband, who never does them for me, so I wind up doing them every second or third day and its a humungous job and I hate it and I think exceedingly grouchy thoughts about him the entire time I'm doing them (we have a 'deal' whereby he does dishes on his days off--HE invented this deal, but he never holds up his end of the 'deal' so he's evil)
-easy suppers. Panago pizza. Frozen lasagna. Olivieri pasta. BBQd anything.

My midwife told me that it sometimes helps encourage a baby to lie in the most efficient birth position if I spend some time belly down, so I've been trying. I crawl around to clean up toys. I read with my butt in the air and a pillow beneath my tummy, though it is hard on my knees so I can't do that for long. I sit on my computer chair with the chair backwards so I can lean forward. This I can sustain for the longest, though my belly gets red marks on it from leaning forward on the bars. They're quite funny! And my hands swell up from the pressure on the front of my shoulders.
It's best for birthing if baby lies with his spine facing away from my spine (back labour is from the pressure of baby's head and spine on yours), and for some reason belly down position encourages baby to lie with his spine away from mom's. If he's never in this position because I never sit/lie belly down, he might not like being in that position for birth! So, I'm giving it a shot.
I also swim laps once a week (and do water aerobics another time or two per week...the goal is exercise 3 x a week but usually I wind up in there twice), so I'm belly down for that too. Except when I do back stroke, I guess!

Also, Ayden is going to be there at CB's birth and I would like some video materials to help prepare him for what it's going to be like, visually. So I need to visit the library and see what they have.
Getting ready! Baby's clothes, cradle, change area, and cloth diaper system are prepped and waiting. His car seat is installed in the Matrix. Phone numbers ready. Name still up in the air, but the list has been shortened to two. My to do list is still long, but we're getting somewhere. Now, just hurry up and wait 5 1/2 weeks! Or 7 1/2, if he's late!

Dr Seuss for the boob

Dr. Seuss for Nursing Moms:

Would you nurse her in the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a Boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?
I would nurse him in the park,
I would nurse her in the dark.
I'd nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.
Can you nurse with your seat belt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse her `till she's full!
Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes her healthy strong and smart,
Mommy's milk is the best start!
Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse her in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse her in the rain.
As for those who protest lactation,
I have the perfect explanation.
Mommy's milk is tailor made
It's the perfect food, you need no aid.
Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast's the perfect food!
I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that this milk's the perfect food!
We make the amount we need
The perfect temp for every feed.
There's no compare to milk from breast-
The perfect food, above the rest.
Those sweet nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy's milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can't be beat.
I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I'll meet her needs, I'll always try.
It's not about what's good for you,
It's best for babies,
through and through.
I will nurse her in my home,
I will nurse her when I roam.
Leave me be lads and ma'am.
I will nurse her, Mom I am

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Tury motter

Thank you, friends, for your words of encouragement. It's tough to slog through all the emotional turmoil that comes with adding another child to your family. Thanks for believing in me...it helps me believe in me, which helps me not feel so afraid.

On a lighter note, two things. (1) Matthew is requesting me at bedtime regularly.
(2) Matthew said to me at dinner tonight:
"Mommy, wu tae oh wer dlash, wu woot wie tury motter!"
Translation: "Mommy, when you take off your glasses, you look like a scary monster!"
I howled. What a compliment!
Don't we all aspire to look like Tury Motters sometimes? Otherwise, the cleaned up version wouldn't be quite so special!

Here are some photos:
This poor giraffe is so ashamed of his behaviour with the hot dog last week...
I came into the kitchen this morning and found him like this...


Ayden and Matthew eating "Turries" in our backyard this evening